Why Some People Like Sign Language

Since I didn’t have time to take a trip on the bus before my blog was due in, I decided to go to the UC during my lunch break and try to find a good table to eaves drop on.

After awkwardly drifting from table to table, trying to find a discussion engaging enough to convince me to make like a snoop and stake it out I was drawn to a boisterous bunch sitting across from the UC Bistro. While there were five at the table, three people really seemed to be dominating the conversation while the others listened in while eating their food.

As I sat down across from them and turned on my recording device. One of the gabbing members, a tall man in a goofy hat, started to make arm gestures at another man who stood in front of the table, tall and lean, almost as if he was passing through and had not yet been convinced to sit down or move on.

“This is, hey” “Tell me if you know what this sign language is” asked Hat Man as he tapped his right fingers against his chest before he waved his left and right arms around his body.

“Uuh me? I’m not sure” Lean Man said quickly, giving up.

Then a blond headed bespectacled woman looked up from her computer to see what all the fuss was about and responded “He’s like I…its, that’s not even real sign language.”

“Yeah it is” said Hat Man resolutely.

“Not it’s not the” Blondie began but Hat Man started to slowly translate “I…Saw…” like a teacher leading a student through.

Blondie picked up and finished the translation: “Big Fucking Shark” with Hat Man simultaneously.

Lean Man then inquisitively chimed in “Wait, what’s fucking?”

“No in the, that’s not a real sign” said Blondie trying to explain as Hat Man burst out laughing.

“This is” she said as she brought her knuckles together and touched her thumbs together and began to move them as if they were pushing against them.

“Ohh” said Lean Man, “That makes sense.” It made sense to me two, the two hands looked like they could represent lovers of some sort but who am I to know.

Hat Man began to make new motions, pointing at himself, his chest, his eyes, waving his arms all around and clapping his hands together in a horizontal fashion while waving his thumbs around.

“I Saw Two Turtles Fucking” he said before laughing boisterously.

“It’s funny,” Blondie began “because if you say fail, like you got a failing grade it’s this.” I can only guess she was responding to one of the bizarre hand gestures Hat Man made.

“This is…” Lean Man began to ask, feeling out the gesture he was shown so he could understand what was going on. He was as lost as I was.

Blondie began held up her left palm and began to bounce her curiously shaped right fist against it. “This means you fail all the time”
“But this is an F?” Blondie asked one of the girls silently eating and observing, checking herself.

“Yeah” replied the Observer as Blondie turned back to lean man, “this is an F”

“So” Hat Man said as he too formed a vertical open palm and readied his right fist. “If your failing your only three fingers away from saying anal sex?” He said, smiling as he made an “O” out of his fist and repeatedly bounced his fist against his open palm.

Blondie, immediately clasped her hands against her face, her eyes mortified.
“YES!” Hat Man roared, “hahaha!”

“You…” Blondie squeaked “it’s been a solid week since I...”

“YAAAAY!” Hat Man bellowed.

“...Since I made the face…” Blondie uttered.

“It’s been a solid week since I’ve seen you,” Hat Man causally stated.

Lean Man began to chime in “Yeah, I remember, and Becky kinda made you do it a second ago with the whole senior thesis thing.”

“Ok, ok so I have, I really have to go so” Hat Man began to cautiously state.

“Okay” said Blondie, her focus still on Lean Man, “but the face is different like senior thesis oh my god I’m going to die and wow that’s really creepy you just broke my brain.”

“Hahaha! I guess that is true” Laughed Lean Man as Blondie then turned to Hat Man and implored him not to leave.

I think I should learn more sign language, think of all the fun that could be had at parties!